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The Bill for Being (bleach) Blonde

Bleach blonde is hot - so is getting there

Can we all just agree right now that platinum is H-O-T? Whether we have Jean Harlow or Barbie to thank (or blame?) for this, I don’t know.

As a professional stylist, I just know that lots of people, men and women, want the bleach blonde hair thing goin’ on.

Hair bleach burns

There is a price to pay for “hot.” Whether or not your skin is sensitive, getting your hair bleached is painful.

Girls, don’t even think about doing this right before your period. O-M-G. No. No. No. You’ll likely end up strangling your stylist before the procedure is finished. You’re going to be sitting in that chair for 3-4 hours including your haircut, a fair amount of that time in discomfort.

At home hair bleach

Why not do-it-yourself at home? For lots of reasons, including the one where you’ll be depriving me of income and a good time playing with your hair.

I’m considered a very skilled hair colorist. It’s where I shine and what I love most about being a stylist. Even for me, bleaching is the most challenging task in hair color.

There is an art to mixing the right amount of bleach and volume of developer. It’s a Jean Harlow Platinum Blondedifferent process for every head and then the timing is never the same, even for the same head on different occasions.

Using peroxide at home should be left to tweens. In other words, if you want to experiment, attempting to get a color you can live with using peroxide means you’ll likely spend that evening re-dying your hair brown or black. It can be done, but I’m just sayin’.


Even red dye doesn’t compete with bleach blonde for maintenance requirements. Why? Roots, baby. We all got ’em and they’re there, just waiting to poke their little stems out to betray the truth about your sizzling hotness.

You’ve got to keep bleaching, usually every six to eight weeks, if you want to keep up with Barbie. And just so you know, the report back in 2002 that the blonde gene would be extinct in humans by 2022 turned out to be a hoax. The naturals aren’t going away anytime soon.

That’s the price you pay for being platinum blonde. But if it were that easy to be beautiful, I wouldn’t have a job.

Have you paid the bill for being blonde? Tell me about the pain and the parties.

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